Double Impact

In the words of JCVD to the female lead with her hands down his pants: “Big surprise. Huge surprise.”

Overall VD Rating: 7

There’s so much to say with this film. A study in dichotomy (you only wish we were using that word ironically) Double Impact revolves two twins, Chad and Alex, who represent light and dark as heavy handedly as everything else in the film. Chad is the light: he wears pastels; he is cheerful; he doesn’t hit women; his name is Chad. Have you ever known a Sith lord named Chad? No, you haven’t. Alex represents the dark: he wears black; he has slicked back hair; he smokes cigars (if he smokes he pokes); he drinks excessively; he broods--oh is he a brooder (brooding can be hot); and sometimes he says “I love you” with a punch to the face (less hot). But Chad and Alex are only the start of the over represented imagery in this Batman-esque tale.

JCVD Exposure: 8

Two JCVD’s. That’s a +2 bonus off the top.

There were so many good things in this film. You have a good boy and a bad boy. You have a man that is noble and a man that broods. You have a lurid sexy time fantasy montage. You have a shirt being oh so thoughtfully ripped off by Bolo Yeung. You have people tied up and tortured with steam. Wait, that shouldn’t be hot. (We’re gonna blame that one on bad 90’s ethics.)

The one problem with the exposure was that Alex, the brooder, who was dark, passionate, and broken, also hit his girlfriend. That kind of ruined him for us. And by kinda we mean really. It’s hard to be attracted to a man that loves you so much he hits you. The feminist movement has ruined us for JCVD. Alex gets drunk and in his drunken rage fantasizes about Chad having sex with his girl, and when they return the first thing he does is punch her in the face. No amount of a Black Label whiskey makes that okay. No amount of sexy time makes that okay either, unfortunately (or fortunately). This is the problem with brooders; they’re really, really hot in their brokenness, and as a viewer you become entranced with the possibility of healing them with your vagina. But truly broken men don’t hold together with duct tape. In an oddly dark and real moment, Alex is revealed to be not so much a fantasy, as an all too real broken man. We didn’t expect unpleasant truth out of Double Impact. It was appreciated, however.

After our shock we both liked that the movie wasn’t afraid to go there. It’s always the glorified broken man and Alex was not a glorified broken man; this added a darkness and depth to this typical 90’s action flick that provided significantly more mental stimulation than anticipated.

JCVD Boot to Face Action: 6

This was more an action movie than a martial arts movie. There was some hot car driving, some fun gun play, and an excellent use of shipping crate to squash bad guy. There were also flammable barrels that exploded even without any incendiary device in the room. All of that was exciting, especially when combined with the Battle of the Pectorals rematch between Bolo and JCVD, but it cut back slightly on Boot to Face Action. JCVD also kicked JCVD’s ass--this relieved a problem for Kate in these movies. He is constantly the underdog in these movies so that he can come from behind to be the hero, and it is uncomfortable to watch your man get his ass kicked. But when your man is getting his ass kicked by your man, it relieves the problem.

The final battle took place on a boat, though, and that’s always fun. There was also a surprisingly well shot fight scene in the dark where Alex is attacked by Spur Man as he leaps out of the shadows and disappears again. We were excited, thrilled, and held in suspense--exactly what an action movie is supposed to do.

A lot of stuff blew up too. The ending was a little bit Ram-Damme.

Effect of Others on JCVD’s Awesomeness: 7

The fact that Bolo Yeung was in this movie was an automatic bonus point. We love Bolo!

Frankie, the older male role model was also really enjoyable. Overall, Double Impact had some of the best supporting characters seen yet. Not to mention the fact that JCVD was his own supporting character. It was like gloriousness supported by awesomeness.

The women in the film once again represent Madonna/Whore, but the metaphor gets a little twisted as the “good girl” (GG) starts out as the whore, but quickly shows herself the Madonna. A viewer could get whiplash trying to keep track of GG’s metaphorical status. She is introduced as a vixen seducing her boyfriend and sticking her hands down his pants in the back room, but then she is quickly dressed in modest suits for the rest of the movie with light makeup and an almost innocent sexuality. At one point the “bad girl” (BG) sexually victimizes GG in the records room in some weird twisted heterosexual lesbian fantasy. BG is in black leather and GG is light pastels and neutrals. GG returns to the whore status, however, when Alex, her boyfriend, fantasizes that she is making mad passionate sexy time with Chad in a very graphic and lurid scene. The lighting was all in reds and oranges accentuating the perverse sexuality of the fantasy; there was no talking, there was no seduction, it was pure sex. Some of this can be attributed to it being Alex’s fantasy, but it creates a strange aura around GG because she is painted as both virginal and dangerously sexual by parts.

There was a man named Nigel.

Final Thoughts:

While crouching between a spandex laden woman in electric blue spandex JCVD tells her:

“Because of my big legs I can do the splits no problem” You bet you can JCVD. We know you can.