Saturday, April 10, 2010

Friends: "The One After the Superbowl"

Overall VD Rating: 7

We sat through a whole “double episode” to see no more than ten minutes of JCVD. But it was a glorious ten minutes. There were fatigues; there was a monkey. There was a friendship brought to the brink of ruin over their lust inspired by the power of JCVD.

JCVD Exposure: 7

He really wanted to have threesomes in this episode. One with Courtney Cox and Drew Barrymore. And then with Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston. We were sitting here wondering where our invite was.

Seriously, though, while the threesome talk was less than seductive, he does woo Jennifer Aniston and we have to say, this might be her best piece of acting work. It takes serious skill to get seduced by JCVD.

JCVD Boot to Face: 7

“I can crack a walnut with my butt.”

We think that explains it.

The Effect of Others on JCVD’s Awesomeness: 7

The girls are reduced to a fighting/clawing/flicking match over their jealousy and rage. Courtney Cox (a brunette) wants JCVD but has not the courage to talk to him. Jennifer Aniston (a blond) goes up for her friend, but then dates JCVD. Things can never be the same after a cataclysmic event such as that.

Kate (a blond) and Jess (a brunette) here by solemnly swear to take this meta-theatrical moment to heart and to take JCVD together or not at all!

Who knew Friends could be so enlightening?

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